


Dear Dro'Kjar

by Crown_of_oak



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/M, Family, Family Secrets, Gen, Secrets, Thalmor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-01-11 14:48:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crown_of_oak/pseuds/Crown_of_oak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of letters from the Dragonborn to her Grandfather as her destiny unfolds and the world eater rises.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 7th First seed 4E201

**Author's Note:**

> If you recognize it - its not mine.
> 
> I have read some fanfiction for Skyrim that simply rehashes the main quest and I didn't want to write one like that. So I wrote this instead, I hope you enjoy it.

Tavia slumped at the small table in Gerdur’s home. She rubbed her eyes tiredly before pulling some paper towards her. ‘Grandfather needs to know where I am.’ She mumbled to herself, ‘So he knows what happened.’ She shifted then winced, the newly healed skin pulled with her movements.. She was just so tired. Helgen felt like a world away, even though it happened only a few hours ago. She and Ralof had stumbled into Riverwood, soot blackened, bleeding and exhausted. Propping each other up as they came down the road. After healing, baths and hot food they were able to explain their sudden shocking appearance to his sister. Tavia sighed and picked up the quill.

_7 th First Seed_

_Dear Dro’Kjar_

_I-_

Ink dropped over the letter, smudging it, as she paused.

_I’m sorry. I won’t make it to Windhelm like I promised. It’s just something is happening, something big, something beyond anything we have dreamed._

The quill stopped again. ‘How do I explain this? I don’t even understand?’

_I don't even know how to write about it. You wouldn't believe me. I’m not even sure I’d believe it if I hadn’t been there. But at least at the moment I’m safe – exhausted, stiff – but safe._

‘A good start’ she thought, ‘nothing that could get him in trouble. Or him hunting after me.’

_My last letter from the Raven was true, I was on my way. But I didn’t follow the path you suggested. I know that going from the Jerrals to Riften would have been safer and quicker, but I don’t want to draw their eyes, so I planned to go come in through Falkreath then east towards Ivarstead and then north to the Darkwater passage._

She ran a hand through her dampened hair. The Ambassador had been at Helgen and hadn’t recognised her - the dye in her once blonde hair must have worked. Well what's left of her hair that is, much shorter now. Gerder had trimmed the scorched strands for her.

_I really should have listened. There was an ambush of sorts. The Imperials had finally cornered Ulfric and I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, or the right time given what happened later. I know you told me time and time again to keep out of the Imperials’ way. That it was too dangerous to draw their eye because their eye would draw someone else to me, someone worse. They knocked me out I think. I woke up later in a cart. They took my swords, my horse, even my armour. I guess it just made me glad you took the important things, the recognisable things, Her things. I can’t draw attention. We left to escape that, I know, but if something big is happening then I think I’ll end up in the middle and then I don’t have a choice._

Tavia pulled the blanket closer to her skin, this next bit was harder to write. She ran a hand through her hair again. Her head lolled forward as she tried to work out how to put this into words.

_Anyway, please don’t worry about what I’m about to write – I’m alright, shaken up but alright._

Angrily she scratched that out. ‘If I write something like that he will storm Whiterun itself.’ She paused, thinking of a way to tell her grandfather without putting him in danger.

_They took us to Helgen, at least 3 carts full of us. The General was there, but it wasn’t for a trial. They had captured Jarl Ulfric and as the undisputed leader of the rebellion they needed to kill him and his entourage. But me and a horse thief.... we hadn’t really done anything wrong but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t one of them so I must be guilty. We were both in the wrong place at the wrong time. He ran when they called his name and they shot him for it._

She sank in her seat, they had been offered no mercy. Her and...the horse thief...oh gods she forgotten his name. He had died in front of her. They had shared a cart from the passage to Helgen, they had chatted about meaningless things. And she couldn't even remember his name, 'what kind of person does that make me?' she thought horrified.

_They were sending me to the block, at least they thought I was just a simple Redguard. There is at least one good sign from all of this, but it meant they would have sent my remains to Hammerfell rather than to you._

Tavia took a shuddering breath, the bile rising in her throat. She could still smell burnt flesh and taste the coppery tang of blood. Her breath caught in her throat. She could feel the heat of the flames on her skin and smoke clogging her eyes and her lungs. She started coughing up remnants of Helgen, quill dropping from her hand. A gentle hand started rubbing her back while another thrust a cup into her hands,

'Drink.' Ralof said.

Grasping the cup of Mountain Flower and Elves' Ear tea, eyes watering from the force of her coughing. Tavia rasped as she struggled to take in a deep breath. Ralof wrapped his arms around her, one hand supporting the wobbling cup.

'Just breathe, we're out of danger. Just breathe.” he murmured in her ear. “We made it out safely.”

Lungs unlocked from the grip of memory, she took a swift mouthful of the hot liquid.

'Thank you.' She said, voice hoarse.She put the cup down next to her paper. Ralof squeezed her shoulder,

“Gerder has set up some beds for us, you should get some sleep.”

Tavia nodded, picking up the quill again.

_Maybe Akatosh was exacting his price after all this time or something. It was horrible. There was this massive black dragon. Helgen is gone now, just gone. Everyone was just trying to escape. We had to fight our way through the keep as it came down around us. We made it out alright._

They had only just made it out. She remembered the billowing dust clouds and the groaning of the rocks as they staggered and limped through the cave towards the sliver of day light. ‘Dro’Kjar doesn’t need to know how close it was however.’

_I’m not hurt, so don’t worry. I’m writing this from Riverwood, but I have to leave for Whiterun soon, word needs to get to the Jarl. I’ve been told it’s about a days travel, Gerder is lending me a horse for the trip. I’ll try to send you a letter from there, hopefully the errand won’t take long and I’ll be with you soon._

Tavia scratched out a sentence and wrote it again, the day was catching up with her. Her vision blurred as she stared at the page. ‘I’ll finish here,’ She thought as her eyes started stinging ‘I’m too tired to write any more’.

_Give my love to Ma’rasha and to Dar’Sava if he visits._

_I love you,_

_Tavia_

She folded up the letter and tucked it into her pocket before heading to the bed by Ralof. He reached out a hand to her as she lay down. She clasped it tightly, “Thank you,” he whispered “You're good with a blade. I was lucky to have you at my back in there.” Tavia smiled, she squeezed his hand then released it, “Thank you, you too – I can see I've still got a lot to learn.” she tugging the blanket up around her shoulders. With the fire warm at her back, she fell asleep.


	2. 22nd First Seed 4E201

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you recognize it - its not mine.

Tavia carried the bowl of soup over to the table in the corner. Wilhelm had motioned to it when she asked about the light. He had been able to provide a room for the night and stabling for her horse over the next week. At least her horse would be in comfort for the week while she made the climb. At least Wilhelm sold gear for pilgrims, that would make her journey easier. She settled in the chair, placing her soup down. She took a couple of mouthfuls before leaning down to her bag to grab some paper

22nd First Seed

_Dear Dro'Kjar,_

_I'm scared_

Tavia hurriedly scratched that out, she was 25, not 12. Now was not the time to be scared by dragons or the dead. She was a warrior, a fighter, not a child needing the comfort of her grandfather. She sighed, except she did– she needed him to tell her everything was going to be alright, that she wasn't going mad. Although, seeing her brother would work as well.

_I'm not going to make it_ _W_ _indhelm any time soon, my original errand has become much bigger and longer._ _I guess I'm not the first of our family to be marked by Fate._ _I'm writing from Ivarstead, about to walk the 700_ _0 steps. I suppose should be proud to make the pilgrimage, but at the moment all I want to do is see you._

'Or just run. Running sounds nice. Run home, run to wilds, run to Windhelm I don't care where.' Tavia thought, running a hand over her face, 'just away from what ever being Dragonborn means.' She sighed heavily before picking up the quill again.

_Its been a difficult week, I had to speak to Jarl Balgruuf about what happened at Helgen. I had planned on immediately travelling to Windhelm as soon as that was over. However, his wizard needed someone to fetch and item for him but as the Jarl couldn’t spare any men because of the attack – so I got the honour. He sent me to a barrow, chilling place._

She paused in her writing to take a mouthful of soup. Bleak falls Barrow, infested with bandits, spiders and the dead. She had been walking through the deeper parts of the barrow when a draugr had appeared out of the gloom, sword swinging. Tavia's hands started to tremble, she had nightmares while travelling to Ivarstead. She clasped her hands together, taking a deep breath, at least this didn't happen in battle. She grabbed another spoonful of soup before picking up the quill.

_I remember your stories of the dead walking around but I always thought you were making it up to stop me and Hawkegetting up to too much mischief. It was odd – there was this wall - I could hear it speaking to me, although I couldn’t understand what it was saying_

Tavia shuddered; she could feel the whispers skittering under her skin, rasping in her ears. It wasn’t until the dragon dissolved in front her could she actually understand what they were saying. The dragon was still there, sleeping in her mind, when it was quiet so was the whispers. She screwed her eyes shut trying to ignore the presence. She reached out for the soup. Running one hand through her hair and picking up her quill in the other, she started to write again.

_I have had one stroke of luck, so maybe I haven't been completely forsaken. Lattaloria has turned up. Apparently he had escaped from Helgen wandered into Riverwood while I was in Whiterun. I'd mentioned him to Gerdur so she kept him for me. Made my journey back much easier. The imperials had strapped some of my gear to him as well, so I have my swords and armour back. Its nice to be in things that fit and feel right in my hand. Anyway, there was another dragon attack. This time in Whiterun, don't know if it was the same dragon and I don't really want to find out. Its dead now – so you don't need to worry – I'm alright, I had a few small injuries but they were all healed up by the Priestess in Whiterun. The Gildergreen is beautiful, its a shame its sick. Maybe once I'm Windhelm I can see if there is a way to fix it._

'A bit shaken, with more burns to be healed.' Tavia thought. 'I got lucky though.' she shivered at the memories of the guards getting cooked in their armour, bodies charred beyond recognition, metal melted onto their skin. She wouldn't be eating roast meat any time soon.

_After the dragon attack, something happened. I guess blood will out and the gods send champions in times of need. Which brings me to why I'm in Ivarstead._ _To see if anyone can explain the dragons. I'm sure you heard the v_ _oices rumbling on the wind, maybe they can help me work out what happened when the dragon died._

Tavia paused to have a bite of soup. She tapped the quill against her lips,”what else?” she muttered, “oh yes, my new badge of office.”. Lynly Star-sung placed a tankard of mead by her elbow. Tavia looked up, “Thank you,” she murmured. She grabbed the drink and took a swig before finishing her letter.

_You'll be proud of me, as a thank you for my work for the Ja_ _r_ _l –_ _I've become Thane of_ _W_ _hiterun. So if you wanted to travel to Whiterun, I'm in the process of securing a house. Lydia, my housecarl, knows who you are if you do decide to visit. Oh and I dropped in on Kodlak, like you asked me to, he was pleased to hear you were back in Skyrim after all this time._

_I'll write again soon, hopefully to let you know_ _I_ _'m on my way to Windhelm._

_Listen for almost thunder and watch the skies. I love you._

_Love Tavia_

Tavia drank more from her tankard of mead, she huffed out a breath. Another letter trying to explaining her absence from Windhelm. Another letter that might draw the eye of the Thalmor, that might give away their location. Gods she hoped Ravens' hope hadn't been destroyed in the search for them. “Hope will live on in your heart, even if it seems lost, Remember that” her grandfather's word echoed back to her as he left Ravens Hope. Tavia rubbed her face before sealing the letter. One day soon she would make it to Windhelm and away from what ever the dragons meant. She heaved herself up from the table and after returning her bowl of Wilhelm, Tavia dragged her pack into her rented room and fell asleep.

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lattaloria - its Aylied for Light Darkens. Tavia felt it was a suitable name for her dapple grey
> 
> Let me know what you think.
> 
>  
> 
> There are more chapters coming. I'll upload them as I finish proofreading them. I'll try to get another one up soon  
> If you have any questions feel free to ask.


	3. 12th Rain's Hand 4E 201

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual, if you recognize it, its not mine.

Tavia sank heavily into the chair and rested her forehead on the table. Fighting dragons was horrible, at least there had been no guards involved in this fight, no one else to get hurt. She rubbed her stomach trying to will away the feeling of nausea. There had been meat cooking over the fire outside the inn, when the smell from meat hit her she had had a flash of the guards from her first battle. Luckily she had been able to rush out of sight before throwing up. Being inside the inn away from the smell helped somewhat. She picked up her quill, time to let her grandfather know that she was delayed again.

 

_12 th Rains Hand_

 

_Dear Dro'kjar,_

_So I get to see the wonders of Skyrim, the inside one inn at a time, I'm much closer to Windhelm this time, I wish I'd be able to drop in shortly after you get this letter but sadly its not going to happen. In my last letter I mentioned climbing the 7000 steps. It was breathtaking, absolutely amazing. The view from High Hrothgar is defiantly worth the climb. The greybeards are strange, but I guess thats what happens when you're isolated from the world. Argenier was friendly enough, vague but friendly. They did continue the fine Skyrim tradition of sending the newcomer on an errand that they cannot do themselves. At least when Jarl Balgruuf sent me on an errand it was within a day's walk. This time I got to cross half of Skyrim, at least I had Lattaloria._

 

_I don't know why people keep getting me to search barrows, I don't like going into them any more than they do. I was sent to this place to prove something, not sure how I managed but it seems to work. Unluckily for me someone had been their first – I don't know how they got through – part of the building is tied directly to someone like me._

 

_And that's how I met Delphine._

 

_You know how you meet people who think they know better and always feel free to let you know that they know better but at the same time don't always tell you what you need to know. She's like that. The Greybeards, while vague, will answer my questions directly if I ask them. Despite my errand being to somewhere only I could get in, she didn’t believe that I was who I said was. Remember the group that helped Grandma Caol, Delphine is one of them – except less helpful. To “Prove myself” she wanted me to kill a dragon. Another one. She wouldn't listen when I said thought that was a bad idea._

 

Tavia rubbed her forehead in frustration, she hated killing dragons. The feeling of the flames licking close to her skin and the feeling of her armour heating up to painful levels. She would have to wrap her sword hilts in something because if the blades heat up in the middle of battle, she's done for. Killing dragons at least quieted the whispers of the walls but added different voices. At least the words taught to her by the Greybeards were quieter in her mind.

 

_On the upside – she believes me now. Which is good and bad, she doesn't think much of my planning – give she ignored my view that hunting dragons is bad. Oh and because I was 'proving myself' she just watched me fight the dragon, I guess she was going to step in if I failed but that's not very comforting._

 

_I wish it was different sometimes, no dragons, no Thalmor, no continued errands across Skyrim. But if things had been different then we wouldn't be here at all. I wonder sometimes if Ravens Hope is alright. I know we left it in safe hands but having to flee like thieves in night, well...I wish we had been able to travel together._

 

Delphine sat down opposite Tavia, placing her hands on the table. Tavia paused in her writing, “Yes?” she asked glancing at the other women, “believe me now?”

Delphine nodded, “I owe you some answers don't I?”

Tavia raised an eyebrow, “No, you owed me answers when I walked into your inn. Just tell me what plan you have now and I'll get get back to my writing.” Delphine looked unimpressed, Tavia rolled her eyes, “What? I'm not taking this seriously enough for you? I didn't want to come here, I didn't want to kill the dragon to prove a point to you. I want to just go home. But I can't – so tell me you plan so I can go to bed.” Tavia picked up her bowl of stew, “You have my attention, tell me what you think is actually going on.”

Delphine narrowed her eyes before starting to explain her theories about the dragons and their possible links to the Thalmor.

Tavia listened quietly, before sighing “you want to send me into the embassy? The Thalmor embassy.”

Delphine nodded “They know me, I can't show my face there. Time is of the essence so I will meet you in solitude in 10 days.”

Tavia bit her lip against a sharp retort suggesting that maybe the Thalmor would know her face too. “Just don't use my actual name – pick something nordic. I'll see you in Solitude.” she said picking up her quill, “now if you'll excuse me I have a letter to finish.”

 

_Now she wants to send me into the viper's den. She'll plan all the details for me, I just need to speak to someone in Solitude. Please could you send my blue dress and the matching boots to the Winking Skeever? I think it will come in handy for what I need to do._

 

Tavia smirked to herself, 'it will also give me a chance to show up Delphine'. Although not the best way to do this, but it would make her feel better. Delphine had shown no sign of being interested who she was, beyond her abilities with dragons.

 

_I'll hopefully be able to see you soon,_

 

_Love Tavia_

 

Tavia sighed as she sealed the letter. Delphine wasn't completely at fault, if you spend your whole life looking over your shoulder, your views of other people ended up coloured. Tavia grinned wryly, didn't mean she actually liked the woman. Tavia stood, lifting her sword belt of the back of the chair. “Time to go,” she mumbled and she strapped her swords to her back. If she left now she would be able to reach Whiterun in 4 days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter up next week hopefully,
> 
> Let me know what you think and if there are some glaring discrepancies - please tell me so i can fix them


	4. 9th Second Seed 4E201

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you recognize anything - its most likely not mine.
> 
> Let me know what you think (please), I'd love some feedback.

Vekel directed her to one of the tables, “Light's best there.” he muttered before turning back to his murmured conversation with Esbern. Tavia dropped her pack next to the chair before sinking down.

 

_9 th Second Seed_

 

_Dear Dro'Kjar,_

_I saved two people's lives this week._

 

_How are you? I wish I could predict where I'm going to be so I could get your letters. Have you heard anything from Dar'Sava yet? And how's Ma'rasha? Coping with the cold I hope._

 

Tavia smiled as she thought of her nephew, hopefully he was enjoying Windhelm. He hadn't been happy to travel separately from his father but the excitement of traveling somewhere new had over-ridden some of his disappointment.

 

 _T_ _hank you for sending the dress, the look on Delphi_ _ne_ _'s face when I met up with her outside_ _S_ _olitude was wonderful –_ _although I don't think she was expecting me to be disguised as a nord_. _S_ _he_ _hadn't_ _realised_ _that this wasn't my first formal engagement_ _but_ _s_ _e_ _doesn’t_ _know who I am beyond what little she's seen of me, so that doesn't really surprise me._ _It was like any other of events you took me to when I was younger, although I spent more time looking over my shoulder than normal. I did what I was sent to do, I'm not very happy that I had to do it but I wasn't given an option._

Her mind turned to the dossiers hidden in her bag, the information in them was worrying. Dangerous for her to know, possibly more dangerous for her to give to anyone else, especially the one on Ulfric Stormcloak. Tavia was relieved that there hadn't been a dossier on her family but that didn't mean one didn't exist. She took a deep breath, hopefully Elenwen didn't make a connection between a Redguard sent to the block and the Nord who disappeared at her party. Tucking a strand of hair behind one ear, she started to write again.

 

_On the upside of all of this was that I saved a man's life, his name is Etienne_ _. The Thalmor are beasts, I wish they were all dead. Etienne was in a bad way, they'd had him for weeks. It was tricky, but I managed to get him safe and get out._

 

Tavia smiled sadly, she remembered the fear that Etienne showed when she entered his cell. Once she had released him from his bonds, he had thrown himself at her in a panicked flurry. She had caught his too thin wrists as he scratched at her eyes. Luckily she managed to get through to him that she wasn't a Thalmor agent. On the journey to Riften via Riverwood, he'd looked to her for reassurance and protection, but towards the end of the trip he'd started to get his strength back.

Even now, while in the Ragged Flagon, he kept wandering back into the main room to check she was still there, leaving was going to be complicated. Tavia rubbed her forehead, hopefully he wouldn't panic if she left, although he may just follow her. Looking up, she could see Etienne's profile in the flickering torches, she smiled to herself – maybe that wasn't a bad thing.

 

_I got to see the aftermath of their methods first hand, as well as their ruthlessness when finding information. I'm glad we got out of Cyrodil when we did. I wish I could go beck up the to High Hrothgar instead of heading to Riverwood but I doubt the other man I just rescued will let me. He's like Delphine, same group, same mindset, same lack of explanation and same level of condescension. At least I saved his life so he's not as demanding and has some faith in my abilities._

 

She glanced over at Esbern who was haggling with Vekel over some food supplies for the journey. He didn't seem as bad as Delphine, although she had saved his life so that may have something to do with it. Etienne paused at her table, Tavia reached over to tap his hand,

“I'll be leaving soon,” She said, gently grabbing his fingers, “I thought I should say rather than just vanishing, I can't tell you where I'm going though.” He sat down across from her and clasped her hand between his,

“I never thanked you properly for getting me out of there. And I'm sorry for those” he said softly, eyes still shadowed with anxiety, reaching out to touch the fading scratches on her face. Tavia smiled back,

“Its alright, you don't need to thank me.”

“Yes, I do. I thought I was done for. No one was going to come from me. And then you appeared out of nowhere. Watching you fight, I've never seen anything more beautiful.” he smiled, reminiscing. “You were stunning. A vision in blue, fierce with the heart of a dragon.”

Tavia blushed, smiling happily “Anyone would have done it.”

Etienne shook his head, laughing bitterly,

“Not like you did. We live in dark times. Most would have left me there. Those that would have got me out wouldn't then have helped me all the way back to here.” Tavia's blush deepened and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear self consciously,

“You're welcome.” she said quietly. She looked searchingly at him, “I will try to come back. I would like to see you again.”

Etienne kissed her hand, “I know.” He stood up. She caught his arm before he vanished into the shadows.

“Just look after yourself, use the quiet down here to get some rest and get your strength back.” He nodded. Tavia smiled to herself before finishing off the letter.

 

_Now I've got to keep moving, I think this is going to take a while, so if you don't hear from me please don't worry. I'm trying to get this dealt with quickly._

 

_I miss you still,_

 

_Tavia._

 

Tavia leaned back in her chair, stretching her back. She sighed, while being in the Ratway was safer from the prying eyes of the Thalmor, it did put her slightly on edge. She kept waiting for a draugr to rush out of the shadow to attack. She rubbed her eyes, 'stop jumping at shadows, nothing is going to harm you here. At least there isn't any roasting meat” she took a deep breath trying to decide what to do next. She knew she wouldn't be able sleep down here and that they probably should get out of the city, maybe under the cover of night was better.

As she rubbed her hands over her face, she was plucked from her chair and thrown over a shoulder. Tavia shrieked before trying to strike her attacker. She heard an inarticulate yell then, a grunt of surprise as her attacker toppled to the ground. She landed heavily, She scrambled away from the attacker, drawing her sword. Etienne had leapt to her rescue, she blinked as she realised who had grabbed her. Blade dropping from nerveless fingers.

“Stop! Stop!” she rushed forward, shoving Etienne away from the newcomer. “Etienne, its alright. Its my brother. Well foster brother.” He looked shocked as he stumbled back before fading back into the shadows. She then leapt at the tall Khajiit, winding her hands into his fur.

“Dar'sava.” she breathed into his mane, strong arms came up to wrap around her,

“What are you doing down here little sister?” he rumbled into her ears,“and what's got you jumpier than a rabbit?” Tavia took a deep breath,

“Its been..... Its been a difficult month. I'm so glad to see you.” she said, voice catching, “I've missed you so much.”

He cradled her face in between his paws, sharp eyes studying her face. Tavia grabbed at them, making sure to keep her fingers clasped in his fur, a constant reminder that he was actually here. He must have seen something because he swept her up into his arms,

“Come on, I know what you need”

Tavia buried her face in his shoulder as she started to cry.

 


	5. 17th Midyear 4E201

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual because it need saying. If you recognize it from elsewhere, its most likely not mine

The was a quiet knock on the door then Hawke stuck his head in.

“I took your gear to the laundry, it should be ready by tomorrow.” Hawke said, Tavia grinned at him,

“Thank you. You'll have your room back tomorrow – thanks for lending it to us. I know there is an inn in Winterhold but its nice to somewhere that someone else is defending.” She replied. Hawke came into the room, yellow eyes dancing,

“So who's this young man?” he indicated Etienne, sprawled out asleep. “You seemed awful close.” Tavia blushed and averted her eyes. Hawke poked her in the side. She stuck her tongue at him

“He's a friend.” She mumbled. “We looked after each other down in Blackreach.”

“ah...a 'Friend'” he laughed, “and I'm sure you 'looked after' each other very well. Is that what you're calling it nowadays?” Tavia glared at him “ooo scary.” Hawke ruffled her hair. She batted at him, half-heartedly. He turned back to the figure on the bed

“Stop it, you're doing that thing again.” She waved a finger at him. “You know the one – where you look like you're listening to me but you're secretly plotting something. I like this one, so no scaring him off.” she sobered slightly, “Have you had any news from the Raven? Your mother?” Tavia asked.

Hawke shook his head, “No word as of yet. I don't know what happened to her, remember we left together but then she had one of her bad weeks, months, days – impossible to tell - started babbling that her father was calling and just disappeared.”

Tavia reached out for her friend, “I'm sorry.” Hawke shrugged off her hand,

“Don't be, its not your fault – she was flightier than a butterfly. Shouldn't have been allowed be responsible for a cabbage let alone a child. Dro'Kjar raised me as his and between you and Dar'Sava - you're all the family I need. I mean I would like to know my ancestry – these eyes” he indicated his golden eyes “aren’t exactly a Breton trait, but as you well know I'm no more simply a Breton than you are a simply a Redguard”

Tavia gave him a half smile. “I'll let Dro'Kjar know your here. You should go see him. Don't scare your fellow apprentices too much – I know what your mind is like” She poked him in the chest

Hawke grinned at her, “Scare them? Me? You ruin all my fun. Its not my fault they don't see magic like I do.” He said cheekily, “Sleep well. Say good bye before you leave tomorrow.” he shut the door as he left.

Tavia sighed, he was a little too clever sometimes. She remembered his mother, in her small moments of lucidity, she was just as brilliant a mage as her son, but then the mania would come back. Etienne snored quietly as he rolled over in bed, blissfully unaware of the scrutiny he had just received.

17th Midyear

_Dear Dro’Kjar,_

_Why is Skyrim so big? And full of mountains? I think I've walked the length of it about 4 times now. I wish the dragons would fly people around rather than just attack them. So I’ve been delayed again, this time I’ve ended up at the college. Not to study, so don’t worry. I remember my previous attempts at magic. The dog was never same afterwards. Hawke has turned up, you know how he left Ravens to go study with the Synod? Well he had a minor disagreement on magic– his words not mine – you know what he’s like. So he headed to the college in Winterhold to learn. I met with some of the other apprentices; they are a nice enough bunch, clever lot, so Hawke to fit in quite well. I told him to you were in Windhelm, you should be hearing from him soon._

It was nice to know that her more of family had made it from Cyrodil without persecution, although Hawke was possibly exempt as due to his magic – even though her grandfather had raised him alongside her and her foster brother.

 _You’ll be happy to know I’m no_ _t_ _travelling on my own any more._ _Etienne decided to follow me, despite my protestations._ _Part of me wishes_ _he_ _had_ _stay_ _ed_ _behind in Riften to recoup after what the Thalmor did_ _but he thought differently_ _. Don't get me wrong I'm glad he came with me, the most recent part of my journey would have been worse if I'd been alone._ _Remember_ _the stories you told me about the temple near Bruma? There'_ _s one similar here – out in the Reach._ _It looks like_ _history is repeating itself. Although this time I'm walking away rather than being abandoned like they did to Caol. They asked me to do something I refused to do and then when I refused acted like I was silly and ignorant. I did understand, I just didn't want to kill more dragons – they don't get the effect it has on me. Etienne make things easier – he understands._

Tavia glanced over to where Etienne was dozing on the bed, light playing off his relaxed features. She was glad he had followed her from Riften. It had been nice to have someone on her side when Delphine and Esbern started making demands. She snorted to herself, they didn't want to follow the dragonborn, they wanted a weapon they could point at a dragons. The Greybeards at least understood that the thu'um affected her differently to them and they tried to offer some guidance.

_You'd like Etienne. He's clever, quick witted and good with a blade, he can keep up with me. He keeps making me laugh over the silliest things. He also isn't afraid of Dar'sava, which is impressive, a 7ft tall khajiit is a little daunting. We're going to try to stop in in Windhelm so I can introduce him to you, but it might not happen until later. We just need to finish what we started in Blackreach and then I'll bring him with me to Windhelm. I really want you to meet him. I possibly should warn him that my grandfather is the great Kjar Wolfrunner._

_You'd be impressed, I've met the leader of the Greybeards. He offered me guidance on the path that I'm walking. I think he's the first to actually understand what its like for me and offered advice that is helpful. Within reason, he doesn’t leave the mountain so somethings are a bit beyond him._

_Did you know where it a whole world hidden under_ _S_ _kyrim? Its_ _eerily_ _beautiful – dark, confusing and full of_ _F_ _almer but beautiful. It seems to be the remains of a dwemer city – not like the strongholds that are scattered around_ _S_ _kyrim but an actual city. Its a shame its been lost_ _although that may be a good thing given what's down there._ _Its a place called Blackreach. It a huge cavern, I_ _think_ _it_ _stretches underneath the Pale and_ _W_ _interhold. I think if_ _I_ _'d gone down by myself, I might not have made it out down again_ _or just come out like Hawke's mother_ _._ _W_ _e were down there for_ _at least_ _4 days, it was hard to tell. Time sort of lost its meaning while we were down there_.

Tavia smiled to herself, having Etienne in Blackreach had been a blessing. They kept each other sane and focused when the silence around them got too much. He understood when she started flinching when the fire flickered too close and she understood when he scrunched himself into crevices and started muttering about the Thalmor not getting him. It had been cold down with no distinction between day and night. Her heart skipped a beat as she remembered the nights they spent curled around each other.

_Even with forward planning I think we wandered in circles for sometime. Eventually we started leaving markers for ourselves, Etienne used them in his line of work. Once we worked out what was there, we knew what we were looking for. We still had to cross the entire cavern to get to this place, kinda of like the Oculary in Cyrodil. Spending the day scouting helped somewhat, gave us an idea of what to expect._

They had used the abandoned laboratory as a base. It had been nice to have some comforts while down there. Being able to leave their gear somewhere to explore had been useful to establishing a map, as well as giving them a chance to replenish their healing potions.

_I was telling Hawke about Blackreach, I think he wants to explore down there. I'll let you talk him out of that. I dread to think what mischief he could get up to down there. I adore him like I do Dar'Sava but he's far to clever for his own good sometimes._

_Hopefully we'll see you soon._

_Love you,_

_Tavia._

Tavia rubbed her eyes before rolling up the letter. She'd be able to leave it with Hawke to get sent while Etienne and her headed back up to High Hrothgar. She knew that he wouldn't be able to follow her up to the peak with Paarthurnax but he's assured her that he didn't mind waiting for her with the Greybeards. She turned to the bed where Etienne lay sprawled across the mattress. She grinned happily to herself as she pulled off her boots. It was nice to be above ground again. Moving over to the bed, she nudged Etienne to one side. He grumbled quietly, before pulling her down next to him. Tavia snuggled under the blanket, pressing closer to Etienne's warmth. He pressed a sleepy kiss to the back of her neck.

“Sleep well, Dragonheart.” he mumbled, tightening his arm around her waist. Basking in the feeling of closeness, Tavia drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel a bit like a broken record here but please let me know what you think.
> 
> If you guys don't say anything how am I supposed to know whats good and what isn't. I know many writers plead for reviews but its through helpful feedback that we learn how to get better.


	6. 2nd Sun's Height 4E201

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second last chapter. Hope you all have enjoyed my story.
> 
> As per usual - if you recognise it from the game its not mine.

_2 nd Suns Height_

 

_Dear Dro'Kjar,_

 

_I love you. I love you so much,_

 

_I'm so sorry but I don't think I'm going to ever make it to Windhelm. I have to leave Skyrim and I don't think I'll be able to return. I don't want to go but I don't have a choice. I'm sorry to do this to you, I would have loved to see you one last time._

 

Tears dripped on to the paper, blurring the letters, Tavia hurriedly wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

 

_I didn't think it would come to this, but discerning the plans of the gods is for far greater people than me. I know I haven't been clear in my previous letters, I didn't want to put you at risk but even the Thalmor can't stop this from happening and by the time you get this I will be beyond their reach._

 

Tavia clenched her hands, she didn't want to be writing this, but her grandfather needed to know what happened to her, she couldn't go without saying goodbye. She bit her lip - knowing that didn't make it easier, if anything it made it hurt worse. Angrily she wiped another tear away,

 

_I'm the Dragonborn – the legacy of blood is more powerful than I thought– even after all this time._

 

There, she'd said it. Tavia laughed through her tears, it seemed so insignificant when written down.

 

 _The world eater_ _has returned and I'm the only one who can stop him. I've already fought him once,_ _you probably saw the storm on the throat of the world._

 

The battle with Alduin had been anything but insignificant. She still remembered the effects of Dragonrend, on both Alduin and her. It was hard to fight with her head spinning and bile rising in her throat. The Greybeards were right, Dragonrend should never be used, especially not by a Dragonborn _._

 

_You raised me brilliantly in a difficult situation, please never think that you couldn't have done more. All that you have taught me has served me well. I wish I had more time to learn more and to pass on what you taught me. I've always been proud to have you as my grandfather._

 

Etienne came up behind her as she paused in her writing, “Are you alright?” he asked, putting his hands on her shoulders. Tavia wiped her tears away,

“I will be.” she said quietly, “I just need to finish this.” She leaned her head against his stomach, “Will you deliver it for me? Explain what I can't to my grandfather.” He nodded, stroking her hair.

“Do you want anything?” Etienne asked softly.

“More time?” she said bitterly. Etienne smiled sadly before leaning down to kiss her forehead,

“I'll be outside if you need me.” He padded out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

 

 _I wish I had more time, there is so much I still want to see here,_ _so much I want to do_ _._ _I wish I could see the adult Ma'rasha will become and I hope Dar'sava finds success on_ _t_ _he path_ _that_ _he chooses. I wish I could see Skyrim prosper and_ _be_ _at peace._ _I wish I could see what the future holds with Etienne,_ _that I could be there to introduce him to you._ _He's the one who brought you this letter. Look after him for me. He will be strong without me but I worry anyway._ _I wish I could return._

 

_Hopefully I'll see you in Sovngarde one day._

_Good bye,_

_I love you._

 

Tavia stood up from the table and folded the letter. “Time to go. The time for tears is over” she murmured steeling herself, clutching the letter to her heart. Moving over to the bed she started to strap on her new armour. “Just keep breathing.” she muttered as she tugged the leather straps snug against her clothes. Running a hand of the dragons head hilts of her swords, gifts from Etienne, she was sorry to be leaving him so soon. She reverently strapped the weapons over her back. Tucking her helmet under her arm she moved towards the door.

Etienne was leaning against the wall outside the room, ”Nice armor.” he said pushing off of the wall, “The dragons on the shoulders are a nice touch.” he reached out to take her hand

Tavia grinned at him, “Thank you for the swords. They are beautiful.” They reached the doors to the balcony of Dragonsreach. Tavia took a deep breath, heart pounding, no going back now. Time to release Odahviing and head to Skuldafn. She placed her helmet on the table by the door and then turned to Etienne.

Tavia pulled her amulet of Mara from her armor and pressed it into his hand. “I was going to wear this once the dragons were gone.” She said softly, “I was going to wear it for you.” Etienne closed his fingers around hers,

“I know. I'll wear it for you instead” He replied, giving her a gentle smile. “I wish you didn't have to go.” Tavia smiled sadly, wrapping her arms around him before tucking her face into his neck trying to not start crying again. “I don't want to either, but no one else can do this. Please take care of yourself” Etienne smoothed her hair away from her face before kissing her. Tavia could feel his tears on her cheek,

“There is a letter in my room for my grandfather, please take it to him. He lives in Windhelm. I love you.” She whispered giving him one final kiss before pulling out of his arms and picking up her helmet from the table. He nodded solemnly,

“Goodbye my dragonheart, I love you too.” he said, dark eyes sad as she climbed on to Odahviing's neck. “Goodbye.” she replied pulling the helmet on over her hair. She raised her arm in farewell as the dragon leapt into the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who have left Kudos - its wonderful to know that you enjoy what I write
> 
> I'll ask again - please review.
> 
> I'm thinking of writing a sequel and some side stories with these characters and other events in the game - is anyone interested in reading them?


	7. 11th Sun's Height 4E201

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter (finally) 
> 
> This one is a letter from a Grandfather to his granddaughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you recognize it from the game - its not mine
> 
> Sorry this took so long to complete.  
>  When I started this I promised my self I wouldn't be one of those authors - you know the ones - who write and promise updates then don't deliver.
> 
> But as is that case with those authors - life happens - in good ways (hopefully)
> 
> since my last chapter - I have a new dog and a new job - hence the busy 
> 
> but enjoy this last chapter

_Dear Tavia,_

_From the moment your mother handed you to me, I knew you were destined for something great. I know every Grandfather would say that about his grandchildren but with you and your brothers it was true. I know he may say otherwise, but to me Hawke is another grandchild, he’s just as much family as Dar’sava or any of your aunts and uncles._

_I won't get to see you again will I? I won't get to tell you how proud I am of you? How honoured that I am your grandfather? That you were everything this old man ever wanted in a grandchild? Even without you saving the world?_

_I am immensely proud of you three, I always have been. While I never met Caol or her son Baurus – but the stories about her lived on after the death and her legacy lives on strong in you. I think she would be honoured to have you as a granddaughter as I am._

_I wish I could have been there for you through your journey, your letters made me want to leave Windhelm and track you down, but I’m not as young as I used to be. I do have regrets left over from your childhood but I wouldn’t change who you’ve become for anything the gods could offer me. I wish I had been able to more for you, You, Hawke and Dar’sava. I wish I’d been able to make your mother stay, I wish I’d been able to fight the concordat more. I wish I’d been able to help Hawke’s mother more. However, those things are in the past and now I need to look to the future._

_I like your young man Etienne, you’re right about him being clever – he’s a good match for you. He was a bit wan, soaked to the bone and shivering when he arrived, there was a storm the day he arrived – I think he rode through it without stopping, Lattaloria is fine – Eteinne looked after him – but I'm sure you know that from wherever you are? He seems a little lost at the moment, will spend hours in the house waiting. I think he wouldn’t even sleep if Hawke didn’t force him to bed every night. It’s doing them both good I think. Ma’rasha doesn’t really understand Etienne’s connection to you but he likes him all the same._

_The young man adores you, the look in his eyes as he described you astride the dragon, looking like the heroes of old. I know that look, It was the same I used to give you grandmother and you father had the same look at his wedding. It’s a shame you can’t be here to see him. He’s told me many stories of your travels, always telling me how amazing you are, how beautiful. He’s even told me about the swords he commissioned. You picked well with this one, anyone who will buy you swords as a gift is defiantly one to hold on to. He has some bad moments still, I don’t know details beyond what you mentioned in your letters, but the Thalmor did a number on him didn’t they? We can tell when he’s had a bad turn because he’s tucked into the alcove by the door surrounded by candles. He really misses you, I think you were good for him, he is having to put himself back together again but this time you're not here to help._

_It’s nice to have them around again; I wish you could be here too. Ma’rasha is excited to have his father around again. They’ve been handling the arrangements of contacting the remaining family. They won’t be able to arrive in time of course but they deserve to know what’s happened. The stories of your actions may reach them before a letter will but then when they hear that it’s you they will be as proud of you as I am. Your brothers arrived yesterday. Etienne seems to hide more when they are at home, I think they make him nervous; Dar'Sava in particular, must be from the tackle. There has only been one big argument, between your brothers - I can’t even remember what it was about. After they put the room to rights they went out and got drunk – despite different origins they have both embraced their upbringing and act like nords._

_I don't think any of us believe that you're gone. Dar’sava is tracking down contacts of his within the city looking for word. Hawke’s doing the same but through the merchants. Etienne just watches the door waiting for you to walk through it, but there is no coming back from where you are is there?_

Kjar paused to rub his tired eyes; clouds had covered the sky signalling another blizzard brewing. He was going to have to light the lamps and stoke the fire. Thank the divines Hawke had stocked up on fire wood earlier. He glanced up at the window, his grandsons and Etienne had left an hour ago to fetch some more food and mead before the storm hit. They had been accumulating more in the pantry over the week, although the mead cellar was depleting faster than normal. He sighed; they were all coping in their own ways. It’s hard enough to bury a child before their time – it’s harder when you have nothing to bury. Distantly he heard the front door shut quietly, ‘good’ he thought, ‘the boys can stoke the fire down stairs.’ He frowned ‘Odd, they usually call out.’ He dropped the quill next to the letter before heaving himself out of the chair. Kjar picked up his mug, before heading down the stairs. He padded into the kitchen, socked feet soft on the wooden floors. Kjar paused at the bottom of the stairs, a cloaked figure stood in the hall, dripping snow onto the floor board. They dropped their saddle bags by the door with a clank and slowly drew back their hood. The cup tumbled from his hand, the sound muffled by the pounding in his ears. Tired blue eyes met his as his granddaughter's face broke into a smile before crumpling into tears. She started forward and they met in the middle of the room. He clasped her tightly within his arms, resting his forehead against her hair. Tavia buried her face in his beard; he could feel her shoulders shaking. Locked in each others arms they sank to the floor. He did not know how long they were on the floor, just that his Tavia was back where she needed to be.

“It’s over.” She murmured voice hoarse, loud in the stillness of the house. “I did it.”

“I am so glad to see you.” He mumbled, “I am so proud of you.” He held her face between his hands, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. He leaned down to kiss her forehead before releasing her. “Come on, go change out of your damp things while I get some wine and while we wait for the boys you can tell me all about it.” She helped him up from the ground, smiling through her tears. She leaned into his side as he lead her deeper into the house.

They settled onto the sofa by another fire place, Tavia curled into her grandfather’s side, mulled wine clasped between her hands. He spread a blanket over her before wrapping his arm around her again, unwilling to let her go.

“It’s a hard story to start,” she said.

“Take your time, we have all the time in the world now. I am just happy your home. It can wait until tomorrow or next week even. I’m just happy you’re here”

“No, I need....I need to tell you. For me as well as you. Sovngarde is so beautiful.” She murmured, “It’s everything I imagined and more. I can’t even find words to honour Shor’s hall in the way it deserves. Even its guardian, Tsun, is indescribable. It was so strange, so different to here and yet so similar. I met them all. All the long lost heroes; Ysgramor, King Olaf...”She trailed off. Tavia took a fortifying sip of wine

“I met my father.” Tavia whispered, staring at the fire. Kjar’s eyes widened, “golden light of Shor’s hall – I met my father. He told me he was honoured that I was his daughter. He was so proud of me and Dar'sava; he asked me to pass on his thanks to you, that you did a wonderful job raising him and us.” She paused to take a deep breath “I didn’t think I’d come back from this, I didn't think I'd get to see any of you again. But Sovngarde is no place for the living. Akatosh still has a plan for us, despite everything. Tsun was right, Dragonborn’s are driven by doom.” Kjar smoothed her hair down.

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you home, you’re safe.” He said. “I like your young man. You picked well with him.” Tavia smiled,

“Is he alright?” she asked in a small voice. “I was so worried about him. We helped each other so much after the embassy and Blackreach. I didn't think I’d be able to cope if our places were reversed.” she rested her head on her grandfather's shoulder. He tightened his arm around her

“You both are stronger than you think.” he murmured. She nodded tiredly as the warmth washed over her. After the warmth of Sovngarde, Skyrim had felt colder than normal, although here wrapped in her grandfather’s arms that was starting to leave her. As she drifted in the fugue state between waking and asleep, the front door opened and shut.

“Dro'Kjar, we're back. We got every.....” Hawke's voice trailed off. Four sets of feet moved quickly from front of the house. Dimly Tavia heard the door open,

“its a miracle.” Kjar said softly, voice thick with unshed tears. “Come here and welcome your sister home.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :D
> 
> Please let me know what you thought.
> 
> I might write a follow up - what happens after and some side stories for the character

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think.
> 
> There are more chapters coming. I'll upload them as I finish proofreading them. I'll try to get one out before next week.
> 
> If you have any questions feel free to ask.


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